This week alone I had what I would consider several parenting victories and several parenting defeats. And that's probably an understatement on both sides. On Wednesday, I overheard my eleven-year-old tell her best friend that she tells me everything. Victory! Every one of my kids has spent far too much time perched in front of a screen of one sort or another this week. Defeat. I could tell you a thousand more, but I bet you've got enough of your own examples that I don't need to reveal any more of my shortcomings! It seems that I'm constantly bouncing back and forth between getting it all right and getting it all wrong.
And of course not every parenting decision is as simple as allowing the tv to be on or off. This week we had to decide if we should send our kids to school after we were informed that someone had written a threat to "shoot up the school on Friday" on the bathroom wall at the high school. I wanted to hold all of my babies close and call it a day. I wanted to lock the doors, draw the blinds and hibernate with my kids. I'll be honest - I even thought about withdrawing them all and homeschooling! And then I remembered to pray.
(Disclaimer goes here: In no way do I intend to stand in judgment of any parent who chose to keep their child home from school on Friday. We all make the decisions we think are best for our kids at the time. I just want to share how we came to our own decision and how we hope to decide when it comes up again one day.)
We debated the choice, weighing all of our options, discussing the possibilities, talking about the ramifications of our decision. None of that mattered in the end. As I prayed, I was reminded that God is the one who carries my babies (and my not-so-babies) to school each day, whether there is a shooter-threat or not. I thought about how each one of them was created in their mother's womb and how He knew them in the secret place, even before I did. I remembered how much he cares for them and how He loves them more than I ever could.
But what if they are injured?
But what if they witness something horrific?
But what if they are scarred for life?
But what if I lose them?
This decision wasn't easy. None of these parenting decisions are easy. And I know there will be many, many more decisions on this road of parenting that will just be plain hard. I began to think about what kind of people I want my kids to be. If I could pick just ONE thing for my kids to be, just ONE lesson to teach them, just ONE way to define them, what would it be?
My wish would not be health.
My wish would not be happiness.
My wish would not be perfection.
My wish would not be a long life.
If I had ONE wish for my kids, it would be this:
I want them to bring God glory as they grow more in love with Him.
Because if they don't get that, none of the other things matter.
Now the good news is that I don't get just one wish for my kids and neither do you. We get to dream lots of dreams and hope with all our hearts that our kids will be healthy and happy and perfect and will live long, beautiful lives. But this world is a scary place and things like terrorism and school shootings and human trafficking and poverty and violence are very real things. There is one who will threaten to take our hopes and our dreams for our kids and smash them to pieces. It's in those times that we must remember what our ONE wish is for our kids.
Somehow we've got to make our most important parenting decisions based on our ONE wish that they grow more and more in love with God each day, instead of all of the other wishes for their health and safety. This world is bound to get more and more dangerous, especially for those of us who follow Jesus. It isn't going to get easier or safer or better. There will be more threats and more tragedies and more awful, awful things. But if my kids know how to grow more in love with God through those dark places, I couldn't ask for more.
So on Friday morning, seven Irvings circled around our kitchen island and Chris prayed that the Lord would keep them safe and healthy and then we turned our children over to the hands of the Father and sent them off to school so that they could know what it is to walk with Him. It wasn't an easy decision. We certainly didn't make it lightly. We prayed throughout the day. And we'll continue to pray because we know that threats like these are always there (and most of the time they aren't advertised on bathroom walls beforehand.)
The precious promise I'm claiming in this crazy journey called parenthood?
God has amazing things prepared for those who love Him. I want my kids to love Him! My prayer is that this will be the driving force behind all of these tough parenting decisions and that their love for Him will bring Him honor and glory!
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